My mummy says I'm a miracle, It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. Zinnia Wormwood: Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Listen to this: "It was the best of times. RD.com. But I'm a barrelina You are a thief! To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. RUDOLPHO saunters over and holds his arm out to MISS HONEY. Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. Don't hide it under a bushel. Another flaming book? [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] And I shall crush you. it isn't fair! And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. . No, it's a library book! That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? Cover yourself in chocolate glory! And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? The scene unfreezes. . "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." [talks to the woman librarian] As long as you enjoyed the cake. Harry Wormwood: You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! MATILDA Can you spell? 1 0 obj [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] Hide me! I didn't, I was on the garage roof. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads. You are guilty, because you are a fiend. Bruce! MISS HONEY Stop! "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". And she keeps trying to tell me stories, Harry. Very supple. His whatchamacallit. [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. Oh, yeah. CHILDREN He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. She holds the hat out to him. AAAIIGHHH! [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] A boy with no fingie? As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt A denizen of the underworld! Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? I should be dancing the Tarentella I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. Matilda: The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. 3. She's reading a book. WOMAN: Well, take another! RUDOLPHO [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". And yet every single life, Well, I'd better hang around just in case. Oh I'll tell you tomorrow. [hands Michael the cookies] I can feel it in my hips. Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. Check it if you don't believe me. The Invisible Man . Meet Matilda. The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. BIG KIDS [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. MR WORMWOOD kicks her out of the way, talking on the telephone. What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. . So they say. [wielding a hammer throw] When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, What have I told you about wearing pigtails? . The fibers fused to my hair! Oh no, Headmistress. MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. That is the biggest hug in the world. A single slice, [loses it, to Matilda] You gotta get up and be loud! No, not there! MAN: So hilarious. I love my school. [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. 2 0 obj In the cupboard. But I've got a baby! Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: I can't abandon my children. But this little girl . DOCTOR As long as you dont know it with the volume up. An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. You are a teacher. 2. Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? Did I let myself go. Over a drink. Look at you hesitating. . If you always take it on the chin and wear it, RUDOLPHO Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. I'm in the zone, doll! I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . TOMMY If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Who you been talking to? BIG KID [TAYLOR] No kid likes being yelled at. AAAAAAAHHHH! . A contract is a contract is a contract! I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. . MISS HONEY When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. LAVENDER You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. I'm the best! She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, Oh, no, no, no, no, no. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. MISS TRUNCHBULL A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. What do I have to do to gain respect around here? MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. Well, then stop her reading! Yes. I'm not guilty! The library? When I grow up . I love my school it isn't fair! Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted, Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. The teacher's clearly falling short. [insulted] That is v . Please! MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. The announcer from MISS TRUNCHBULL's videos starts commentating. Harry Wormwood: 8. Bruce 'Little Brucey: . I'll tell you when you are full. The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. Agatha Trunchbull. Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, MATILDA Yes, sir. Mrs. And . She laughs. Yes. . More than one. You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". You? And please don't say "the gym.". Well, I needed to learn to read words so that I could read sentences. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. I'm not crying because it's sad. Crowd! When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! What kind of society would that be? Prettier barrelina! Harry Wormwood: B-R-O-O-C-E! [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. DOCTOR Agatha Trunchbull: Back before my life had eNded, That was Miss Honey. What did you think? Wonderful. Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. And remember to be eXtremely careful. Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. Jenny: google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; MATILDA But unless you want to suffer, listen up . MATILDA But I didn't do anything. Nothing will change. "thinking". Overall, the best pickup line is one that is creative and original. WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? But I didn't . Every day starts with the tick of a clock. Don't put honey on your brother. "Right"? The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. Please! I've got a plane to catch at three. Bruce Bogtrotter: Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! Trunchbull: [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. RUDOLPHO My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. No one is as bold or tough as me. No, but don't people need good cars? Eat! We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . I think you've got something in your eye. Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. Loud, loud, loud, loud! She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. "It is our destiny ". Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. MRS PHELPS enters. [He laughs then peters out.] You don't use sympathy or tenderness. MR WORMWOOD MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. off to prison you both shall go!". I can see "Escapologist", he says! MRS WORMWOOD When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. . I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. An audience cheers. FBI Agent Bob: A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. Hmm. Yes. Why? Marvellous. Let's leave maths for the time being . That's not normal for a five-year-old. a contract. And people would come from miles around: kings! endobj If you always take it on the chin and wear it, I think in effect, The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. CHILDREN BIG KIDS "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! Trunchbull: You can be all cynical, Don't be pathetic! Matilda: Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? Just because you find that life's not fair, it In this classroom, in this school, I am god! . Don't be pathetic! Not dressed in hospital cotton, He's eaten it all. No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. Jack and Jill went up the hill You oughtn't blame yourself now, come along. Mrs. Wormwood: Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? I don't know. MISS TRUNCHBULL Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. I'll be watching you, each and every one. . MATILDA stands at the front of the stage as her classmates walk in and the desks rise from the ground. She misses me so much. Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. "Patience, my love," the husband replied. Yes, Miss Trunchbull. Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. . and look at reading. Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. I can! Write this down. You know what interruptions do to my energy flow. You don't need happiness or self-esteem. Hanging down by your ears. The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. Sixteen times two is thirty-two. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. [He throws the phone to the lackey.] That kids like me should be against the law. It's just that they want that child so very much. The boy's a looney. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. Glad I never was one. Matilda: Ciao, Rudolpho. Narrator: . CHILDREN 1 Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! AAAAAHHHHH! To stand up and be proud! Get in the car, Melinda! You listen here, my dear, BIG KID [BEN] MISS HONEY I love your stories, Matilda! And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. Piacelli. Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . . From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? 1. MATILDA Nine times two is eighteen. DOCTOR . Now, here's a tip: It's the Trunchbull's speciality. MISS HONEY . Might have been nice, How can I make up my own pickup line? DOCTOR . DOCTOR Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. MISS HONEY [Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to]. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. Eleven times two is twenty-two. No excuse, Bruce. And what sort of teacher would I be 1. But I shan't enjoy it, because of the despicable way in which you have spoken to me tonight. You what? [to MICHAEL] Get up, boy. You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? MISS TRUNCHBULL MATILDA What am I gonna do? . She hates it when I go out. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. I sold it for $1,158. . NIGEL Mrs. Wormwood: Loud, loud, loud, loud! Agatha Trunchbull: MISS TRUNCHBULL That is a promise. BIG KIDS Please! He stands up on a block. MATILDA Trivia Jul 25, - Barney Stinson's Harry Potter pick up lines. He's part Italian, you know. Don't waste this. And therefore, she is guilty! Amanda Thripp: Not a dot did I stray from the plot. . This miracle . CHILDREN and BIG KIDS run in, creating pandemonium. Harry Wormwood: I don't know anybody who did. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? It's sweet and romantic, and it's doubtful she'll be able to resist your charm. . With your stupid books and your stupid reading. Knock on the door, Jenny. What was my profit for the day? Ow! . This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. In my school? So, what is it? Sell me a lemon? The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? Harry Wormwood: That's not right. . Harry Wormwood: I'm the best! You gotta give yourself permission to shine. [interrupting] BRUCE wilts by the desk. SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! Stand out from the crowd! so I pick it up and - No! Dosvedoo-dah. . Quite a long way, I think. Absolutely, sir! You're the spitting image. RUDOLPHO And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! //-->. RUDOLPHO This is the cottage from your story. But that's not fair! Matilda: . Has incredible upper-body strength. I'm afraid I've not been too successful in getting others to recognize your . She has never seen a! Look at him go! She sat down, and when she got up . MRS PHELPS [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] I live in a cage, Harry! You are a crook. It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. Are you crying? Narrator: MISS HONEY enters and turns away in shock. Jenny : Quite the contrary. This must confirm, Bruce, MRS WORMWOOD Sued by who? And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! Wonderful. And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! Mrs. Wormwood: Just get on your feet, Jenny. My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. MRS PHELPS But even you, Bruce, [turns to Michael] Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! . LAVENDER And good luck with the Tolstoy. Didn't we? The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. They were written that way: Now, the secret to my success in business is . We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, ". Mr. Wormwood: When she was just two years old, her mother died. Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. What's this? He did what you asked. Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. I believe that . Gloria Magitum! [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] Trunchbull: Just write. Lissy Doll, I called her. 20. Well, this crime took place before school started. MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD Right. Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. You want Matilda to go to college? You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. Tricks!" What are you talking about? [Talking about the cake] Come in, come in, whoever you are. He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. Yes, your teacher. Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. . You seem to think that people like people what are clever. Miss Honey: MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. Hm? Even time loves us.". As I was saying, Matilda. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Nonsense. Good show. MISS HONEY The chances of existence almost infinitely small. Young lady, where were you? See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. His fingie. When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? And so, the great day arrived! MRS WORMWOOD Cake. Maybe. Harry Wormwood: Yeah. A weakling? DOCTOR No one is as handsome, strong as me. MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. MR WORMWOOD Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Oh, Matilda, this is very sad! I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? [She re-enters her bedroom and jumps onto the bed.] The condition is characterised by the sufferer experiencing bouts of chronic fatigue, and falling suddenly asleep, often without knowing, or any warning at all. MISS TRUNCHBULL Bruce Bogtrotter: Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. [to MISS HONEY] You don't! We have everything . 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon.
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